Female Friendships: Are They Actually That Toxic or Are We Just Dramatic?

We’ve all heard the horror stories.

One minute, you are besties taking mirror selfies in the club bathroom. The next, she is subtweeting you about how “some people aren’t real friends.” You are left analyzing texts, re-reading past conversations, and wondering , "how did we get here?"

Social media is filled with people saying female friendships are messy, dramatic, and never last. But is that really the truth, or are we just too deep in our feelings? Let’s unpack this mess.

1.⁠ ⁠The vibes shift? We overthink immediately.

Friendship is going well, everything is good, then boom. She starts taking longer to text back. The group chat is quiet. The energy is off.
Instead of just asking, “Hey, babe, are we good?” we start decoding text tones, checking WhatsApp last seen, and consulting outside sources because there is always a friend who has inside info. Before we know it, we have created a full-blown conspiracy theory about a vibe shift that may not even exist.

2.⁠ ⁠The group chat is both therapy and a war zone

If friendships had a headquarters, it would be the group chat. It is where we analyze everything from “does this outfit slap?” to full PR crisis management when someone’s ex suddenly pops back up.
But let’s not lie, group chats are also where friendships quietly die. One person stops responding, another starts leaving messages on blue ticks, and suddenly, the once-active chat is just birthday wishes once a year.

3.⁠ ⁠Cutting people off is a little too easy

At this point, we treat cutting people off like self-care. The energy shifts slightly? Unfollow. Someone does not show up for your event? Blocked. They did not hype up your Instagram post? Soft block.
To be fair, some people need to go, but sometimes we are a little too quick to press the eject button instead of just talking things out. Not every friendship breakup is necessary, but when it is time to go, it is time to go.

4.⁠ ⁠Friendship beef is quiet until it is not

The thing with female friendships is that you can always feel when the friendship is cracking. The energy gets weird. The texts get drier. The shade in the group chat starts hitting a little too personally.

Then one night, the tension explodes. Usually at BnD, where someone has had just enough cocktails to start saying what they really mean. Suddenly, there are emotional speeches, teary explanations, and the classic “Honestly, I just felt like you…” conversation.

And sometimes, that is exactly what was needed.

5.⁠ ⁠We expect too much from our friends

The problem is not always the drama. Sometimes, we put way too much pressure on friendships. We expect friends to be our therapists, hype women, advisors, emergency contacts, and emotional support systems all at once.

The reality is that some friends are just for vibes. Some are for deep talks. Some are only great in group settings. And that is fine. Not every friend has to be everything.